Saturday, August 30, 2008

A bump in the road...

There are certain things that are particularly worrisome for a woman, one of these things being the discovery of a lump in her breast. This worry can be magnified when there is a known family history of such lumps leading to a sad result. So as the daughter of a wonderful woman who died at an unfortunately young age from breast cancer, when I recently discovered a lump it's not surprising that I was a bit concerned.

It was a rather random discovery, not even intentional. Even with my family history, as a (till very recently) 20-something, it's not something I had been particularly nervous about in the near term as I'm very young. I mean, aside from the yearly checkup or self-exam after catching a report on TV, I didn't think of it much. So it came as a shock when I extended my arms upward in a stretch after my evening working and unconsciously reached toward my rib sensing something there. Sure enough, on my left side was a rather large, hard ball. My immediate thought was, 'oh sh*t, how did that get there?' It was nothing I had even noticed before and now from nowhere I was feeling a huge quarter-sized lump.

So mentally, I was concerned but not panicked. One... I'm a very positive person, and two... there's no need to be nervous about something I hadn't had examined yet. At the same time, I wasn't exactly sipping a margarita with my feet kicked up. Several things started going through my mind. As an educated person, I know the statistics, both positive and negative. I've had several friends in the last couple of years discover lumps and it be nothing; I've also known those rare cases of young women who weren't as lucky. I also started thinking about how ironic I'd make a discovery now when in the last couple of months I had become so healthy. I'm probably in the best shape of my adult life. I workout nearly every day, I run up to 3 miles each week and have started competing in 5Ks, and I eat a very healthy and balanced diet. I am noticeably more lean and toned, and even have an impressive 6-pack going. So it's odd that at the healthiest point of my life I would be having my most significant health concern.

Anyway, I made this discovery during the evening so I couldn't set a doctor's appointment until the morning. So the next morning I walked up to the doctor's office to set an appointment. As I'm at the front desk, I'm setting the appointment and I get to the obvious question from the nurse, "what's the purpose of your appointment?" It was odd but I kinda whispered, 'I found a lump'. Then she gave me this sad look of worry and tried to bump up my appointment. So the appointment got set, and even though we tried for a quicker date, the best that could be done was a week later.

So a week goes by and I finally get to see my doctor. My attitude was pretty upbeat during the wait, but I still had the lump and it still hadn't been defined. But overall, I have good instincts, intuition and attitude, and none of it was telling me to be overly concerned. And the little bit of concern that did creep in was saying that if the prognosis wasn't what I was anticipating, I would be able to deal. I was thinking about that as I walked into the exam room at the doctor's. She did the exam. Since it was a large lump (and I'm no Pamela Lee Anderson), it only took her a quick second to find it, at which time she says, "oh yeah, it's there." That, by the way, did not help my concern about how big it was. What did help is she immediately started talking about how it wasn't necessarily cancerous, but could be a cycle-related cyst, especially since it appeared so suddenly. She also told me to avoid feeling it as it may irritate it. So we finished up and she made an appointment for the next step: the mammogram.

I had to wait another week for the mammogram which was at another location. This was an interesting experience as I'm so young and everyone in that waiting room... wasn't. Most would qualify easily as my grandmother, even great-grandmother. After filling out my paperwork, I was given a certificate for a free pearl necklace, and I am eligible for additional pearls each year I get an exam. I thought that was pretty cool. Anyway, I was called and headed into the mammogram room. I have heard such horror stories, I was a bit concern about the pain. But honestly, it wasn't that bad. After taking full-on kicks and punches in martial arts, getting my breast extremely squashed wasn't horrible, especially knowing it was only for my benefit. And this lump was in a very hard to catch spot, so the poor technician did nothing but apologize as she tugged and pushed on my back. After all that, we only got one half decent shot as it was laying on my rib. Once she got that shot, she said, "Given your family history, we're probably going to need to take that out." 'Okay,' I thought. Since we did only get the one clear shot, she ran down to the ultrasound room to see if I could get that too. Ultrasounds allow for a far better view. Fortunately, someone showed up late to their ultrasound so they made room for me. Other than the cold gel and still walking around exposed to the world, the ultrasound was kinda cool. It was at this point I could really see it and my concerned significantly dropped. It looked like a really simple ball. Having seen shots of cancerous tumors, this looked far from it, but I'm no doctor. But 20 minutes later I walked into the oncologist's office and she told me the same and even matched my opinion. It was a "simple cyst". Basically, it's big round fatty ball showing now signs of cancer. That I could handle, and what remaining small amount of concern I had evaporated. But given my history and it's size she suggesting I get it drained a bit by another doctor.

So another week later at a different location, I arrived at the appointment for having the lump drained. I had been avoiding searching for it like I was told by my primary physician, but since I hadn't done so in a while, I decided to do a self exam. To my surprise, no lump. That's right, the huge quarter-size ball was apparently gone. But I'm no doctor. So I walked in to the room with a nurse and we quickly realize she lives in my apartment complex, and she sees me doing my run regularly. Funny. She also asked if it was cool if some interns observed my exam. I said it was fine. Then she handed me a robe the size of a mu mu, apologized for it's ridiculous size, and left only to return a few minutes later with the doc and 2 interns. I told him I was pretty sure it was gone. He proceeded to check. So here I was, totally exposed from the belt up, getting my chest felt up by a male doc I had known all of 3 minutes while 2 interns and my nurse neighbor looked on. (By the way, it made it a bit weird when I did see her at the complex the next day.) What was funnier was the doc and I are just talking and joking about various unrelated topics during this exam. For whatever reason, I was on a roll and had the interns cracking up. Apparently, breast exams bring out the comedian in me. Anyway, he finished up, came to my same conclusion, I paid for the appointment, set up an appointment for a following mammogram checkup in a few months, and I left.

So that's it. No lump for now. The whole experience was quite informative. It was probably the first time in my life when I truly thought about my mortality, and it put some things in perspective. So I guess the lesson is live life to the fullest, don't sweat the stupid stuff, and ladies and guys don't forget your regular self-exams.